Depressed and Silent

Run silent
There was a book and movie from the 1950s called Run Silent, Run Deep.  It was about submarine warfare during World War II.  The name refers to a submarine stealth tactic known as “silent running.”  That is how I feel about my depression.  Like a secret mission, depression lurks in what feels like deep, dark recesses of blackness.  They say there is no place darker than the bottom of the ocean.  My depression takes me down like a submarine, running silent, deep, and dark. Amidst the absence of light is the presence of screaming silence.  In some horrible way, the silence becomes some sort of sinister companion.  It abides my depression and seems to ask for nothing.  Climbing out of this abyss requires my submarine to surface. But my submarine is designed to be submerged in the lower regions.  The structure of it somehow endures the extreme pressures that exist under the sea.

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I finally quit!

Dirty habit
Strongly detesting my dirty habit, I found myself going back for that last cigarette. Again. I was addicted and hated it. Especially since smoking had become such an unpopular pastime, it was embarrassing to me to have to go stand outside in the rain in order to take my puffs. My kids called me “Chimney” and pleaded with me to throw away that last pack. I knew that not doing so was colluding with the addiction that rendered me powerless. Not only did I endure my own self-loathing, I lived with the threat of serious health repercussions. However, most of the time, I chose to – or should I say, forced myself to – live in denial.

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My smoking dilemma harangued me for one year too many, however. I managed to catch up with myself to admit that the habit I hated could be released. Forever. I believed

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Having the talk with your teens

Choices in life
ne of the hurdles of parenting is figuring out how to guide your teens to make good choices.  This may be especially challenging if you aren’t proud of some of the choices you made at their age.  Besides talking about sex, it is difficult to master other subjects as well, such as drugs and alcohol.  The variety of experiences we carry forward probably accounts for differing perspectives on how much and exactly what to share.  Parents have to make decisions about how they want to influence the choices their children will make.  The worst choice parents can make is to not have the talk. It is important that children know where their parents stand on certain issues.  I remember having mock presidential elections when I was in second grade.

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